PokerGreed Poker Blog - Sack - Affirmation In Negative Times

In the short few months I hav? actually been playing poker I feel like I have come a long way and played very well. And when I say few months playing, I don’t mean as in “I’ve played some form of poker for {kittens} and giggles and now I play seriously. I actually mean I’ve only played for a couple of months. I’m bad with time estimations, but I’d guess around 6 months or so. You can ask my girlfriend and she can probably guess from the first time she felt neglected. But I digress.

During my short span of play I feel I have been very successful. As I’ve said before, I don’t have the bankroll to make a huge profit from playing, but I fill in the gaps between paying a bill and not paying a bill most of the time. In fact I’ve never actually had a “losing” streak to this point except for the beginning.

Ah, those humble times making the jump from “play” money to the real deal. When you realize that you actually suck. I came in with twenty bucks plus a 10 dollar bonus to try it out. Beginners luck netted me a little change that I immediately withdrew, and then my whole roll vanished faster than some late night waffle house the morning after a drunken frenzy. Knowing that I CAN do better, I put back in the original withdrawal I made and vowed to learn to play the game right. On top of that, knowing my ways, I also vowed that if I lost this money that my career would be done, and for every X dollars I do win I will withdraw that amount to ensure I would never lose “my” money. I got busted down and frustrated, so I said screw it, I’m putting it all in one tournament. If I lose I’m done. Once it started I realized how stupid that was to do. I started by blowing half my stack on the first hand playing more tilted than a pinball machine on a fault line. Then I saw that the end was near, and that it would be it for me. I somehow pulled one out of my “inner eye” and won first and a big payday. As temped as I was to ride the wave, I stayed true to my word and withdrew the excess cash.

Since then it’s basically been blue skies. Sometimes only being able to withdraw every other week, sometimes popping in 3 or 4 checks per week. Either way it was profit.

But now I feel I’m in a slump. The cashes aren’t coming like I feel they should. My play feels weak and scared. When I do find my rhythm I get burned brutally at some point, and then I weaken up again and can easily get bullied around the table. Then I find myself overcompensating and playing way too aggressive. It’s a vicious cycle, and I’m having trouble finding that happy median I was finding such success in.

Then I realized something: I feel I’m playing so bad AND having this horrible luck, yet I’m not losing anything. I’m not making money like I like to do, but yet in my lowest most primitive form I’m keeping my head above water. I did hit a bad streak where I knew I was almost at an “all or nothing” point again, but then I pulled a good money finish out of a sit-n-go and got back on solid ground. So while I am down about not running the show as I know I should, I feel good that at my worst I’m even. It may be a passive attitude to have, but I have gambled long enough to know the reality of any form of gambling is that if you’re not losing- you’re winning.

Ain't Skeered, Sack

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